Satire: Woke Mel Gibson Says Volume Three

“It’s almost Gay October. A time when leaves fall and penises are ok wherever they wander. Although it’s nearing, I wonder if I’m prepared to be an ally if I haven’t ever sucked one back after a hard days work. Support is one thing but how can you fully support if you have spent your whole life barring yourself from partaking? A man is fine sharing a beer with his mates but how bout something more intimate? Oh that’s too far you might say. Oh what if I don’t like the taste? What will my friends say? Bloody hell, what will my wife say? Fuck your wife! And fuck your friends I tell you. I’m speaking both sarcastic and literally. You can have both in your life. And life isn’t always about you. I may shy away at the thought of taking a thick spray to the face but dammit, I’ve watched women do it on the internet. And if they can do it, why can’t I? Oh you have to go to work? Fuck off. How long does it take to fizz his pants seltzer? Life will give you excuses but sometimes you gotta grab life by the horns. Suck it up. And take one for the team. Plus, how bad can it taste anyway?”