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Pizza Delivery Guy: “Hey Danny D, the pizza’s on me. I’ll be honest. For the last several of your multiple large cheese orders, I flopped a dick on top of at least one pie. I hope you’ll accept my apology and not tell my boss. I’ll be paying for this order. My conscience couldn’t handle it anymore and I felt it was the right thing to do. If you don’t accept this pizza, I more than understand.”
Danny Devito: “Who gives a fuck? You gave yourself a greasy dick.” Pizza Delivery Guy: (Lost for words) Danny Devito: “Do you go down on your girlfriend? Don’t you put your dick there too? What difference does it make?” Pizza Delivery Guy: (Lost for words) Danny Devito: “Most of the population have had dicks in their mouth so you’re gonna have to try harder to gross me out. Otherwise, try to get the pizza here in under 40 minutes if you want to get a tip.”
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Danny Devito tries his luck at raunchy, sexist standup comedy with terrible punchlines in an attempt get women:
"What's gayer than a big c*ck in your mouth? Me for stickin it in your f*ck hole instead of bangin that broad over there." “I got that one off a popsicle stick but I shoved it up my ass and now I can’t find it. Does anyone have a pipe cleaner or forceps?” “My next trick involves a woman entering my bedroom and me entering her. Who wants sloppy seconds?” “In my mind, I already f*cked you. And guess what, it wasn’t that great. See ya later bitch.” |
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