Satire Casual Encounters: Girl at Burger King That Fingered my Asshole in the Bathroom at 2 A.M.

So I was l hungry late at night and the only place open was Burger King.... She should be called "The Burger Queen". Well, let me explain my story... The dining room was still open, and she was the only one working the cash register. She had molasses hazel brown eyes that would make your jaw drop. And speaking of jaw dropping, I got the Spicy RODEO® Crispy Mystery Meat Sandwich made with breaded 100% deer meat seasoned racoon filet, topped with 3 half-strips of thick-cut smoked turkey bacon, crispy onion rings, tangy soy sauce, creamy man mayonnaise and American Cheese on all white bread. I woofed it down, but boy did I have to use the bathroom. I went to the bathroom and was on the toilet and there was no toilet paper. I pulled my pants up and awkwardly walked to the register and asked the cute girl if they had any toilet paper. She said "Follow me". We went back to the bathroom and she said to drop my pants and get on the toilet. She dipped two fingers into the toilet and then shoved it up my ass. And it was wash, rinse, and repeat. After a few times, she said "You're fully clean, I enjoyed being your human bidet!" We walked out of the bathroom. She went back to the register, and I went home. I have been to the Burger King a few times since and she wasn't there. So if you this ad please contact me.