 “It’s almost Gay October. A time when leaves fall and penises are ok wherever they wander. Although it’s nearing, I wonder if I’m prepared to be an ally if I haven’t ever sucked one back after a hard days work. Support is one thing but how can you fully support if you have spent your whole life barring yourself from partaking? A man is fine sharing a beer with his mates but how bout something more intimate? Oh that’s too far you might say. Oh what if I don’t like the taste? What will my friends say? Bloody hell, what will my wife say? Fuck your wife! And fuck your friends I tell you. I’m speaking both sarcastic and literally. You can have both in your life. And life isn’t always about you. I may shy away at the thought of taking a thick spray to the face but dammit, I’ve watched women do it on the internet. And if they can do it, why can’t I? Oh you have to go to work? Fuck off. How long does it take to fizz his pants seltzer? Life will give you excuses but sometimes you gotta grab life by the horns. Suck it up. And take one for the team. Plus, how bad can it taste anyway?”
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 “Jerry, I just don't know! I tried doing the opposite of everything I know and it worked once. We went to the diner and instead of my usual chicken sandwich on rye and coffee I went with tuna and tea and met that woman. We only made it to second base! You know what! I'm doing double opposite George, Jerry!” George storms out the apartment and runs into Newman in the hallway and the mailbag spills everywhere. They start screaming at each other but George doubles down on his idea. He says "Newman I hate your guts, but a Double Opposite George now wants your nuts." They go back to Newman's and things get wild. After the encounter, George runs back to Jerry's apartment with his hair all messed up and the gang is all there. Kramer says "Wow George, you really look like a new man!"
*Cue bass guitar* |
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