Satire: Mr. Feeny Takes Eric to Red Lobster

Mr. Feeny: Eric. We’re at Red Lobster. This isn’t your father’s dirty little strip club. Sit up straight and earn your seafood. You’re a Feeny Fellow after all. Right?

Eric: Yes Mr. Feeny! Absolutely sir!

Mr. Feeny: Eric stop screaming. This is Red Lobster for heaven’s sake. Be a role model. Again, I reiterate. You’re a Feeny Fellow. Not some trash eating out of a waste paper basket. Have some dignity. And unpop your collar. You look like a real doofus.

Eric: Ok Mr. Feeny. You’re right. I thought it looked cool but I guess I was wrong. Do I look better now?

​Mr. Feeny: Much better. Now, be sure to neatly place that napkin on your lap and tell the waitress that you’re pleased with her service. It’ll give her a little pep in her step and make you look distinguished. It’s what you do at a place like this. This isn’t a sloppy brothel Eric. It’s Red Lobster. Be cordial and blend in. Who knows, maybe there’s an executive here that will notice the way you carry yourself.