Satire: Mr. Feeny Gives Eric Queef Advice

“Eric. What you heard should not be uttered to the one you love. The stars of heaven do not look upon nature with disgust. Therefore, you should realize the true beauty in a queef. It is not something to be looked down upon nor is it something to hope for, expect, and put on a pedestal. It is like a rain storm. We may not ask for it, but how beautiful it can be when it thunders. Like a sunset on the ocean, queef queef, in the midst of a coral reef. Thou knows himself by knowing the waves of a woman. ‘Tis not the stars that lead the way in love but the sparkle in her eyes. A queef is the sound of the sparkle of life. Treasure it. Cherish it. But don’t ever try to find it because that will always seem creepy.”