Satire: Jordan Peterson on Cheeseburgers

“What really upsets me about labels is when they stick and you can’t call it what it was before. Don’t get me wrong though. I’m not against politeness and calling people whatever they wish to be called. At all. What I am against is forced label recognition. Years ago, I worked at a burger lounge. Yes that’s what it was called. It was more than a restaurant. Sort of a hybrid between an upscale bar and a burger joint. Anyway, one day I had had it with people assuming I knew what they meant by their vagueness. I went hardline. And I mean hardline. I clearly remember someone ordering a cheeseburger and I said what’s that? After he saw that I wasn’t kidding, he went on to explain that he wanted a burger. With cheese on it. Oh ok well that surely made sense. But the idea of just butt f***ing a hamburger with cheese until it becomes part of the actual name? No. I just couldn’t any longer. A hamburger. With cheese on it. Sure. Not so difficult. Laziness is no bargain in life. You get what you pay for. And ask for! Now, don’t get me wrong, cheeseburger was on the menu but I had to put my foot down somewhere.”