“Well, ya know. Whiskey d*ck doesn’t have to be such a bad thing. It’s actually a form of self preservation. We may think that we’re in the drivers seat when it comes to our sex life but thank god we’re not. Our d*cks are. And that can be a good thing! When a man has whiskey d*ck, life grabs him by the balls and says hey there Ernest. We’ve got the cockpit now. Just relax and let loose. No need to fire in the hole. It’s helped me numerous times. Cant fit a square peg in a round hole they say. Well, can’t fit flop in slop. I could go on all day.”
“A party to me is people getting together in the name of social engagement. I don’t play games though. If they want to be in my presence, they get what I offer. Beef, salt, and water. That’s more than enough. Laughter is not equatable to filling your liver with fermented juniper berry flavored ethanol. You want a good time with me? Sip water.”
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