Satire: Eric Gets Sloppy for the First Time

Mr. Feeny: What seems to be troubling you Eric?


Eric: Well George... (Mr. Feeny interupts)


Mr. Feeny: Eric! You never address me by my first name in any circumstance whatsoever! You must always remain cordial and proper in your pleasantries, as you are the pupil. Now, commence with your situation.


Eric: Well, Mr. Feeny, me and bunch of guys and girls from college took a ride to Chubbies to get burgers and play pinball and pool, and and well...


Mr. Feeny: Eric! Tell me!


Eric: Well some of the older guys told told me to come behind Chubbies to the back parking lot. They had this bottle and told me to take a sip. It was really disgusting and it burned my lungs. But I started to feel really good. I felt amazing the more I took. Me and this older girl started kissing, but not like the one time I kissed a girl while playing spin the bottle. She... she... well... (Mr. Feeney interupts again)


Mr. Feeny: Eric! Tell me! Tell me more!


Eric: Well she... she... put her tongue in my mouth and I started getting this feeling in between my legs that was uncontrollable. And before I knew it, her hands were down my khakis and doing the thing I do to myself at bedtime and then the good feeling happened.


Mr. Feeny: Well now Eric! You are learning your ways in the fellowship. Even in your confused ways you never made any advances, you let the girl lead, and advance in the dance. Quite the gentleman, very impressive. Yet you still have much to learn! So what happened after?


Eric: Well, we took more a few more sips and got the Chubbie's Chili Cheese Fries. Before I knew it I was puking them all over the sidewalk after we stumbled back to John Adams School.


Mr Feeny: Eric!